


Lucy in the Sky with Northern Lights

by OrphanBlue



Category: The Rookie (TV 2018)
Genre: Alaska, Child Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Witness Protection, Zoe Anderson Appreciation, chenford, mention of threat of sexual assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28693398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrphanBlue/pseuds/OrphanBlue
Summary: Shortly after Lucy's last day as a rookie ends in tragedy, Rosalind Dyer's schemes send her into witness protection, and away from the loving glances of Tim Bradford.----Trying not to turn this into a complete bodice-ripper romance novel, but let's be honest, it'll end up where it ends up. Chenford feels.
Relationships: Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen
Comments: 46
Kudos: 106





	1. Last Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I know nothing about police procedure, witness protection procedure, or the associated language and terms. Enjoy my attempts to mask that.

Lucy’s last day as a Rookie Officer had not gone well. In what was meant to be a monumental moment, when she had planned to count out the seconds to the end of shift, which a smug look on her face right in front of her T.O., who would of course be secretly proud of her, she was instead kneeling in a pool of blood, a small body clutched in her arms, and Tim simply staring down at her silently.

They weren’t aware of the time any longer. They weren’t aware that Tim wasn’t her T.O. anymore, or that Lucy had finally made it. Those thoughts had started to slip their way out of both their minds earlier in the day when a missing child case had come up. By the last few hours of their shift, all the focus was on finding this little girl, who they had found out was taken by her alcoholic, violent father. Child custody cases could be, as Tim said, some of the most volatile and dangerous. But it wasn’t until those last few moments, when they were alone in the warehouse, with the body of the father, who had just taken his own life, and the little girl who he had accidentally shot when firing at Tim and Lucy, and the message had come in through the radio that the ambulance was 12 minutes out, that time really stopped.

Tim was a man of action, a cop who was always finding solutions. He had started to say “we could-“, but Lucy shook her head. Her mind was emptied of everything expect the clearest thoughts, set out in little, irrefutable statements.

_This little girl does not have twelve minutes. We cannot move her without causing more blood loss and her to fade faster. There is no one else coming in time.This little girl should no die surrounded by horror. This little girl should not die alone._

So Lucy did the only thing she could think of. She sang. At some point she had heard the girl’s mother mention that she was obsessed with the Wizard of Oz, so Lucy sang _Over the Rainbow_. She sang it with tears trickling down her cheeks, staring deep into those little green eyes until the light within flickered out, and Lucy was able to let out the pained, choking sob that she had fought to hold back.

Tim was silent the whole time. He just stared at Lucy with an expression so painful she couldn’t bare to look at him. And so they were like that, forever, for twelve minutes, until sirens interrupted the complete lack of words, and brought back everything that had been so kind as to disappear and leave them in this horrific peace. More police, medics, forensics, they all flooded the place. Someone had helped Lucy up from the ground, but she didn’t bother to notice who. At some point Tim had asked why in the hell the ambulance and back up had taken so long, but the explanation was lost on Lucy. As were the assurances from various officers that this wasn’t anyone’s fault. That she couldn’t blame herself.

She had managed to take notice of Sergeant Grey, and the kindness he showed her. He had showed up not long after everyone else, and he made a point of making Lucy look him in the eyes. At first it had felt a little intrusive, but then she felt herself begin to solidify. She hadn’t realised that she was slipping away, into shock, until his steady gaze locked hers and began to ground her again. He had then instructed Harper to take her back to the station and help her get cleaned up. As she had climbed into Nyla’s shop, Lucy had felt Tim’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t look back at him, for fear she would see that same expression on his face.

No one mentioned that night that it was meant to be Lucy’s moment of triumph. No one talked about how she and Jackson had finally finished as Rookies. If they had she might have felt a little bad that she was preventing him from having any kind of celebration, or even recognition, but as it was, the thoughts didn’t even cross her mind. Instead her mind was filled with those green eyes, filled with life and then suddenly entirely lacking it, the look on Tim’s face as she sung, which she had only seen for a moment before looking away, but which would forever be burned into her brain, and, of course, that fucking barrel.

——

It had been one month since Lucy had become a fully fledged LAPD officer, T.O.-less, and riding on her own. She was struggling. Not at the job in-particular. Though she wouldn’t admit it, Tim had taught her well. She was properly prepared when she had set out on those streets alone, and though there had been the odd hiccup, nothing had really knocked her. No, what Lucy was struggling with was that warehouse. She felt like it was inescapable. Wherever she went, she could see that warehouse, with the blood on the concrete and the flickering lights illuminating what everyone called a 'worst-case scenario'. She could close her eyes and know exactly where in it she was kneeling, where the body of the father was, where Tim stood, looking over her, and where the doors were, ready to let in a mass of intruders but which she was sure she could never leave through.

Perhaps if she had had more presence of mind when she had walked out of there, if she had felt her heavy boots connect with the ground as it changed from concrete to the gravel outside, rather than drifting out in a daze, she might have been able to close those doors in her mind. She might have been able to seperate herself from this single place, single event. Single worst-case scenario.

But that wasn’t how it had gone down, so now she was stuck, another haunted cop on the streets of LA.

A message came in through the radio, Grey wanted her back at the station. Lucy frowned to herself. It was almost the end of an entirely ordinary shift. A few traffic violations, a drug bust, and an assault call that was really more of an overblown cat fight. Two Beverly Hills socialites had got into an argument at a high end boutique, and though Lucy was sure she had broken it up and dealt with the whole situation by the book, she wouldn’t put it past either one of them to put in a complaint just because they could. So she turned her shop around and headed back to the station, preparing herself for that _fun_. At least today was Nolan’s last day as a Rookie, and given how they hadn’t celebrated her’s and Jackson’s, there was a good shindig planned for after shift. Even Tim had agreed to show up, and as she thought about seeing her ex-T.O. again, she couldn't help but smile to herself. 

—

“Sir?” Lucy asked as she knocked gently on Sergeant Grey’s slightly open door. She peered into the small office and was surprised to see someone else in there, in addition to the Sergeant himself.

“Officer Chen, come in” Grey said from behind his desk, ushering her in and to close the door behind her.

“Sir, I-“ Lucy began, but she was cut off before she could turn her puzzled expression into words.

“Chen, I’m gonna get right to it because we don’t have a whole lot of time. This is Agent Frankie Sangha, she’s been working on the Rosalind Dyer case.” Grey said, frustration and resignation both evident in his voice.

Lucy turned to look at the woman in the corner. She looked more like an expensive lawyer than a Fed. Her blazer was a deep green and her heels were probably more expensive than every pair of shoes Lucy had ever owned put together. Sangha smiled a clipped, empty smile, then got strait to business.

“Officer Chen, you know, I’m sure, that Dyer has been reaching out more and more lately. Mostly to the Officer John Nolan, who I take it you know well, and there was that issue with a prison guard, but you won’t have heard of that. Up until recently we believed these taunts were just that, taunts. She was bragging about the possibility of getting out after that fiasco with the lead detective, Armstrong. Well, some info fell into our laps recently that suggest otherwise, and after pulling on that particularly filthy thread, we have now confirmed that Dyer is targeting you.” Sangha spoke fast and with an air of confident professionalism. 

Lucy was stunned. She managed a little “err…” before Sangha began again.

“Of course you’ll be wanting details. I can’t give you all, but this what I can tell you; Dyer somehow got in contact with one Marcus Vance, I’m sure you’ll remember him, I read the file.”

Lucy did remember him, the drug dealer who's actions had lead to the death of a detective, the shooting of Tim’s wife at the time, Isabel, and to Lucy delivering a baby while being shot at. A small shudder tried to run through her body, but Lucy didn’t let it. She had been though a hell of a lot since Vance. She simply nodded.

“Well, it seems Vance still holds, er, somewhat of a grudge, and what’s more, he also still manages to hold a lot of power, despite being behind bars. With the … guidance, shall we say, of Dyer, Vance has focused that grudge, and that power, on you. His small empire on the street has actually grown since being locked up, and this adds up to there now being a serious and credible threat against you.” Sangha finished with no trace of a smile.

“O-okay.” Lucy tried to get a grasp of things, turning her wide, dark eyes to her Sergeant. “What about Bradford, Sir? He was who Vance was most focused on at the time.”

Grey shook his head. “He’s focused on you now. No word of Bradford in any of this. What I can’t understand is why Rosalind Dyer is so focused on you. Armstrong, and Nolan were always the objects of her obsession.”

“Yes,” Sangha said, frowning, “Do you know why that is? We’re aware that you were targeted by Caleb Wright, but that didn’t seem to come from any particular interest of Dyer’s, so why is she so fixated now?”

“I was, er, I was defiant.” Lucy looked down at her boots, then had to drag her eyes back up to the questioning looks of Sangha and Grey. “To Caleb and Rosalind, I was defiant. And now-“

“And now she wants to break you.” Sangha finished, while Grey sighed and shook his head.

“She won’t.” Lucy said, not meaning to demonstrate that very defiance, but doing so all the same.

“Don’t be so sure.” Grey’s voice was harsh.

“As I’ve said, this is a credible, serious threat. So, until this is over, you’ll be moved into Witness Protection.” Sangha said briskly. 

“What!?” Lucy gasped. “No, Sir!”

“It’s decided, Chen.”He sighed.

“But- but what about..” Lucy scrambled. “What about Nolan, when he was green-lit by Midas, he wasn’t put in Witness Protection. He didn’t even stop working!”

“And look at how that ended.” Grey said, hollowly.

Memories of Zoe Anderson flooded back to Lucy. She had so admired her Captain, her dedication, her strength and skill, everything about her had inspired Lucy. It had been such a shock, getting the call that she had been killed on duty, and it had really set in the fact that no cop, no matter how good and true, is immune to bullets.

“Sir, please, surely this threat against my life is-“ she was cut off.

“It isn’t a threat against your life. Not exactly.” Sangha said, and Lucy turned to look at her in confusion. “Well, Vance blames you for the disappearance of Cesiah Olivo and her son, who are both is Witness Protection. He’s determined to have a son. To replace the one who died, and the one Cesiah had and took from him. And given that Rosalind Dyer’s main goal is to inflict maximum suffering, well…” Sangha trailed off, looking a little awkward for the first time.

Lucy’s confusion must have been showing, because Grey sighed and handed her sheet of paper from his desk, saying that it was a transcript of Vance’s communications with one of his men on the street that had been intercepted. Lucy didn’t ask how. She felt herself grow cold as she read, and then place the paper carefully back on the desk, before she had got half way the text.

“I’ve only just…” her voice trailed away as she stared up at her Sergeant with pleading eyes.

“I know,” He said, with real compassion. “I will do everything I can to get you back and working again as soon as possible. You’re a good officer, Chen, but you know I mean it when I say that some things are best left to the Feds.” It was a mark of how serious the situation was that no note of derision tarnished those last words.

“Now,” Sangha said, back to being brisk. “What happens next is very important. We’ve managed to buy a little time, so you don’t have to rush, but it’s imperative that neither Dyer nor Vance find out that we’re aware of all this. If they discover that we know how they’re communicating, that they even are communicating, they’ll find some other way and we’ll be in the dark. The lives of our informants will be in danger. So you’re going to have to convince everyone that there’s some other reason for you leaving. You have until tomorrow morning.”

“ _That’s_ not a rush?” Lucy said incredulously.

“In this business, yes.” Sangha said with a little smile that Lucy thoroughly hated.

“And how am I meant to convince people, my friends, my family, that I’ve suddenly decided to give up being a cop and move away?” Again, defiance filled Lucy.

“Well, I read your file, of course. You’ve been through an awful lot in less than a year. It shouldn’t be surprising if that all caught up with you and-“

“No.” Lucy interrupted her, “All that. Everything I’ve gone through. Caleb and… Everything. It’s all made me a better cop. It’s made me _want_ to be a better cop. My friends know that.”

“Well, whatever it is, it better be convincing.” Grey said gravely, but his expression showed confidence in her.

“We’ve got a cover story of course, you’ll be travelling. To find yourself again.” Sangha grimaced at the expression on Lucy’s face. “Well it’s better than being dead.”

“I know that.” Lucy glowered.

“I meant, oh, you know. Anyway, be back here first thing in the morning to ‘resign’, then I’ll meet you with the U.S. Marshals who’ll be handling your case.”

It was all very settled, and Lucy was powerless to change any of it.

“We're at the end of shift,” Grey said, looking at the clock, “Good luck officer Chen. I hope they send you somewhere bearable. And I hope this is all sorted out before you even unpack.” He reached across his desk to shake her hand.

“Uh, yeah. Me too.” Lucy said, even managing a smile. She respected her Sergeant, and even with the fear and anger bubbling up within her, she appreciated his kindness.

Now all she had to do was somehow convince the people she loved that she was choosing to leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll get to all the Chenford goodness asap. I live for comments so pls tell me what you think and where you want this to go. It won't be a long pic but I plan to fit in a lot of drama and angst and fluff. All those good feels.


	2. Leaving

Lucy ended her shift, showered and changed back into plain clothes in silence. The people around her were animated, pleased to end a long day and excited about Nolan’s celebrations. It was at a fairly new local bar that was already a favourite among the Mid-Wilshire officers. By now everyone was used to Lucy’s new quiet demeanour. It wasn’t until she was leaving the station, when she ran into Nolan and Jackson, that she was forced out of her revery.

Both men were little short of jubilant. Nolan was so excited to finally be joining his two friends, and Jackson was pleased to finally be able to celebrate his own accomplishments guilt free. When they turned to look at her, and let out a flood of encouraging chatter, Lucy thought she might cry. How could she convince these two, her closest friends, that she was leaving of her own volition? How could she hurt them like that?

For the moment, she set that aside, and put on the closest she could get to an excited smile. It clearly wasn’t very convincing.

“I know this last month has been hard for you Lucy, but come on, we’re all there!! We all did it! And we deserve to celebrate.” Jackson said, practically jumping up and down, so unable to contain his excitement.

“We do,” Nolan agreed, with a slightly more weary look on his face. “But if you’re not-“

“I’m ready.” Lucy cut him off, with a warmer smile. She was genuinely pleased for them both, and if she could just focus on that, she though she might be able to get through this night. “I wanna do this.”

-

The bar was packed. There had to be officers from several precincts, and Lucy highly doubted there were all there for Nolan. On the other hand, Jackson had made a lot of friends recently, having been searching out other officers of colour who had faced racism on the job. He had created a real community, and Lucy was proud of him for that. Many of them were sure to have shown up for Jackson. As, to Lucy’s amusement, had Sterling. It wasn’t so much that he had shown up that was funny, but more that he had tried to disguise himself. It didn’t really work, but it sure was sweet.

There was a great mood and atmosphere, but Lucy still longed for a quiet corner. Ever since being taken by Caleb she had had trouble with bars. She had tried to expose her self again, dive in the deep and learn to enjoy the company of crowds like she used to, but it hadn’t worked. Perhaps she would never be able to experience some things the same way. She tried now to just focus on one person at a time. The particular person she was most hoping to see didn’t seem to have showed yet, so Lucy focused on Angela. The new detective was at the bar, complaining loudly about how she couldn’t drink, and give some serious looks at Wesley, who it seemed was drinking.

As she stood there, watching the couple discussing their wedding plans, their pregnancy, and the just the happy future that awaited them, Lucy felt great waves of sadness. Chances were that she wouldn’t make it to their wedding. She might not be back before Angela had her baby. She might not-

“You alright, Boot?” Asked the most wonderfully familiar voice from behind her.

Lucy turned and plastered on her very best attempt at a smile. She was genuinely pleased to see Tim, but also couldn’t hide from the great weight that was coming down on her.

“Yeah. No, I’m good.” She couldn’t look at him while she said it.

Tim gave her a look. That look, where he clearly saw through any facade she tried to put up.

“Lets find somewhere to talk.” He half yelled over the noise.

They tried to find a quiet corner, but it was no good, everywhere there were people, loud and laughing and ready to drag them into conversations. Tim waved off everyone off easily, while Lucy stayed silent behind him, hoping his height and broad shoulders would shield her from the notice of others. Eventually the found their way out the back door into an alley way. For a moment Lucy felt some caution, no longer keen of dark back alleys, even in the company of the person she would always feel most safe with. But this alley wasn’t that dark, or even that unpleasant. The staff at the bar clearly used this area for their breaks, and had tried to make it somewhat cozy. There were lights illuminating blue milk crates with little cushions on them. Best of all, when the door closed behind them, it was quiet.

“So?” Tim said, taking a seat on a crate and giving her an open kind of look.

Lucy more melted down that sat. She couldn’t talk. Looking at him now, in the still and quiet. This was the first time they’d really been alone since their last shift together. This could be the last time they were alone too. She let the silence hang.

“Lucy,” He began, looking away to gather his thoughts, and therefore missing the look that crossed Lucy’s face as he spoke her name. “I know I messed up. I should have looked out for you, after. Just because I stopped being you’re training officer, doesn’t mean I should have left you to go through that on your own. I’m sorry.”

“I-“ Lucy was shocked. This was a lot for Tim to share, though it was also entirely like him to shoulder an enormous amount of guilt that he shouldn’t have to carry. “No, Tim. I told you how much I wanted to do things on my own, how I was ready.”

“That was before. After the Mallory case, I knew things had changed. Going through that alone…” he trailed off, shaking his head.

“I decided to go through that alone. I think," she frowned to herself. "I think I had to. It took me right back to being buried, to dying alone. I had to process things I didn’t process before. Things I’m still trying to process.” She stared at the ground as she said it. Tim and her were rarely able to look at each other when that spoke about the things that hurt.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm still back in that barrel. Like you never dragged me out. I worry that part of me is still in there. I know that I never really gave up on you finding me, I was always sure of that. But drifting off, alone... And then holding that little girl. I just couldn't get her go alone too. And I think you felt that too." Lucy let out the flood of words she had held onto for a month. 

“Fuck, Lucy.”

Tim’s words normally came with the promise of action, or some suggestion of how to move forward. He tried to give advice even when there was no advice to give. Now he just stared at her eyes full of emotion. Suddenly Lucy understood why they found it so hard to look at each other in these times. She understood why he hid these looks from her, it wasn’t just because him was uncomfortable with showing emotion. It was because she broke a little every time she saw Tim hurting, and she knew he did the same when she hurt.

“I wish we’d have talked about this sooner.” She said softly with tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

“I could have helped you go through this.” Tim said gently.

“No,” She sighed. “I mean I wish we’d discussed us sooner.”

“What do you..” Tim looked puzzled, but Lucy guessed he understood. He had to.

“We weren’t normal Tim. We weren’t like Harper and Nolan, or Jackson and Lopez. Even before Caleb, really early on I think, we changed each other. And from then, we just got closer, but we never talked about it. I know we kind of couldn’t, when you were still my T.O, but that didn’t make it go away.”

“Lucy,” he began, but seemingly with no where to go next.

“No, I need you to understand, Tim. Please.” The tears were picking up now but she wiped them away on her sleeve. She needed him to understand. It might be an awful idea, given that she may never see him again, but that was also exactly why she had to say it.

“I’d never been in love with anyone before you.” She breathed it out, and forced herself not to look away.

Tim looked like he was about to bolt. Just make a run for it. She wouldn’t really he blamed him. He didn’t. Instead, he launched himself at her so fast she was nearly knocked off her little milk crate. His arms wrapped around her, and one hand tangled up in her hair just before the back of her head collided with the brick wall behind her. She heard the scrape and was sure his knuckles must be bleeding, but Tim didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy drawing Lucy into the kiss she had been wait over a year for.

They clung on to each other and tanged up with an urgency that Lucy knew was all to real. She kissed him deeply and set her hands to exploring the body that had, until recently, been off limits. His hands found her hips and he pulled them closer to his, wrapping one of her legs over him. She pulled at his shirt, and set her lips on the journey down his chest.

“Tim,” She breathed into his neck.

Just like that, he froze. She stared up at him, confused, but his face was already set. He took a deep breath, then moved away, detangling himself from her.

“We can’t do this.” He sounded just as determined as he did about anything. Lucy knew why, of course. Tim thought he was crossing a line. Training rookies was a sacred duty, and though he was no longer her training officer, he would still hold himself to the highest standards. They would both be put in a difficult position if they took it any further, so he had stopped it.

All the pain that she had tried to put off engulfed Lucy. He was right, of course, but not for the reasons he thought. Lucy knew it wouldn’t be fair to Tim, to finally fall into each other, just when she was leaving. And he would look for her of course, he would look into every lead he could, just like he had when she was taken. He’d keep looking until he got himself killed. Oh, but she had so wanted, just once-

“Okay.” Lucy gulped, the tears that had stopped when he kissed her were already running down her cheeks again.

In one swift movement she stood and swept through the door into the bar again. She could hear him calling after her, following her into the throng, but it did no good. She let the mass of people seperate her from Tim. Lucy wiped away the tears again and filled herself again with the determination that guided her best. She would make this break. They would believe it, and though part of her hated it, she would let them believe it was because of all she had been through. There really was no other way to convince anyone that she would just leave.

“Lucy!” Nolan called, and Lucy was pleased to see he was standing with Jackson, Nyla and Angela. That would make this easier.

“Where did you get to?” Jackson asked, loudly enough to prove he’d already had a few drinks.

“I have to go. I can’t do this anymore.” How did she make this not sound like a breakup.

“Is it too crowded here?” Angela asked with sympathy. “Wes and I were about to leave anyway, we can give you a lift if you want.”

They didn’t understand. They couldn’t understand, not here. She shook her head.

“I don’t need a lift. I just need to go.”

All of them were looking at her with worry now. It hurt.

“Lucy!”

She wasn’t sure which of them was calling after her, she was already leaving.

—

Lucy was already mostly packed before Jackson got back to their apartment. She had no idea where she was being sent, or even if she’s be able to take her own things, but Jackson and everyone else had to believe she was choosing to leave. That she was travelling. Not being forced away for her own safety and the safety of those around her. She tried not to think of Tim while she packed. She tried not to think about how close they had come to finally being together, only for it to fuck up so spectacularly. She tried no to think about how Tim would absolutely blame himself for her leaving. She tried not to think at all. It didn’t work. So she focused on Zoe Anderson.

Remembering her Captain calmed Lucy. She had been a fiercely good cop, the kind of cop Lucy wanted to be. It had really been to her credit that Captain Anderson had chosen to ride with Nolan that day, that they had both chosen to do the honourable thing and go out on the street when half of LA’s criminal population was going after Nolan. But Lucy knew that were she still there, Anderson would have told Lucy to go into Witness Protection. Because they learnt from what happened. And some risks were too great.

With these thoughts Lucy had found her sense of resolve as Jackson walked in the door.

“Why are you packing?”

“I told you. I have to leave.” Lucy said, not looking up from the clothes she was folding.

“I thought you meant the bar. Lucy, you can’t leave!” He began to grab her things and pull them out of her suitcase.

“I have to.” Lucy said calmly, grabbing ahold of his hands and holding him still. She looked deep into his eyes. “I’ve been through too much, and I can’t keep pretending nothing happened.”

“But you weren’t. You’re dealing. Lucy, come on, you always deal.” He was pleading now.

“I can’t deal with this stuff. I don’t know how. Not like this, anyway. What Caleb did to me, what I felt when that little girl died…” Words failed her. She wasn’t making anything up, all she had was the truth, but that was too hard as well.

“But, but you still don’t have to go” Jackson sounded so hurt.

“If I don't, I don’t think I’ll last very long. I’m sorry Jackson.”

He stared at her, then put down the things he held, before leaving the room. He closed the door behind him, and Lucy was left alone with more guilt that even Tim Bradford could claim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did writing this feel like Bella leaving forks at the end of Twilight? Gross. God I'm sorry guys.


	3. Different Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to everyone who's left kudos and all the super kind comments. So glad you're loving it so far, hope I can keep it up.

Lucy awoke to the frigid cold of an Alaskan winter morning. Despite all she had done over the last few weeks to seal the cracks and the window glazing, the frozen air still made it’s way into her cabin each night, rendering her radiators near useless. She couldn’t avoid it, nor get used to it. She couldn’t get used to the silences, only ever pierced by the sounds of animals, or the wind.

It seemed strange that it was the change in environment that shook Lucy most. The fact was, when people mentioned Witness Protection, she had always thought of Florida. Stuck on the other side of the country, but still under a blazing sun. She never would have imagined being somewhere so cold, quiet, and with such a different sky. In LA the sun took over everything. It created a climate where all was intense and vivid. The days there were glorious, if sometimes gruelling.

But here, here was where the nights shone. Perhaps it was just that she had arrived in time to see the Northern Lights, but it felt like the night skies were welcoming her in, tempting her to fall entirely into her knew life. She often stayed up late, gazing up into this sky, which offered her more than the LA skies ever had. Here it was filled with infinitely more stars, and the skies seemed to stretch further from one horizon to the next. And, of course, the hours of darkness lasted much longer.It was somewhat confusing; Lucy felt she should have hated wherever she was sent, given that it wasn’t her choice, and she would always belong on the streets on LA. But how could she deny the beauty of her prison? A beauty she may never have seen, if it weren’t for the threats of Vance and Dyer. So here she was, stuck in an ambivalence, feeling towards her new home both a grateful awe, and resentment.

Lucy dressed and got ready in the dark, she wouldn’t see the sunlight until nearly mid-day, when it would only appear for a few hours. She dressed in layers, prepared for the over heated, stifling air of the bar she worked in as a waitress. She looked very different these days, and she was glad that the clothes she now had were so different than the ones she had like to wear back home. It was easier to get into character if she dress differently, and anyway, she didn’t think her old clothes would have suited her new bleached blonde hair. When they’d died it and she’d first looked in the mirror, Lucy had actually laughed. She was immediately reminded of the time she had worn a wig in order to trick a suspect into thinking she was his intended victim. Tim had looked at her and just said ‘nice wig Boot’.

_Tim._

Truth was she thought about Tim Bradford far more than was healthy these days. She analysed almost every moment they’d had together in her head over and over. And though it could possibly be considered a form of torture she was inflicting upon herself, Lucy ran though again the last time she saw him.

It was the morning after their kiss, when she went into the station to ‘resign’. She had only seen him for a moment, as she left. She had gone in early, in the hopes that she could have avoided any of them seeing her and trying to convince her not to go, but by the time she was leaving they were all there, in their uniforms, staring at her through the glass walls of the briefing room. Jackson had clearly told Nolan and Harper that she was leaving before then, and they look truely disappointed, but the look of shock on Tim’s face when he saw her, leaving Grey’s office in plain clothes, duffle bag over her shoulder, she would never forget it. Jackson must have only just filled him in. There was one second where their eyes locked, and she felt his pleas for her to stay from across the station. Then her eyes had flicked down, to see him clenching his right hand into a fist. Over his knuckles there had been a makeshift bandage. She then just hurried away.

Lucy let herself sink deep into the memories as got ready and drove into work, but as she arrived, she let them go. They were Lucy Chen’s memories, and as she left her truck, her solitude, she could no longer be that person.

“Hi Julie.” A man called.

Ugh. Julie Lee.She really wished they had been a little more creative with the name, but she guessed that was the point. Anonymity.

“Morning, Dave.” She called back to the fry cook as she followed him into the bar.

She couldn’t really complain too much about her job. She’d worked as a waitress throughout college, and though she had never planned, let alone wanted to go back there, she found it easy enough to slip back into the role. No one asked her too many questions, they all readily accepted that she wanted to leave her past behind her. That seemed to be pretty common among the people who moved up here as adults. Perhaps they weren’t all running from anything as intense as she was, but few seemed to want to talk about where they’d come from, and why they’d chosen to make the move. That, she supposed, was part of the appeal here, it wasn’t just a fresh start, it was an entirely clean slate.

—

Tim sat, hunched over his beer, wallowing. Again. People buzzed around him, chatting, laughing, and ordering takeout from the food trucks that he wasn’t patronising tonight. He wasn’t hungry. He didn’t even really feel like the beer he’d gotten, but every night the few weeks, he’d done the same thing; gym, dinner, sleep. Then today he’d heard Lucy’s voice in his head, from eons ago, quietly mocking him. “ _Wash, rinse, repeat._ ” So he’d finally agreed to Angela’s requests that he join her after work.

“Hey!” Angela called, and he looked up to see her approaching carrying several takeout containers. “I know you said you didn’t want anything, but I got you a burrito anyway.” She shoved one of the parcels toward him, leaving three in front of herself.

“And who’s the rest for?” He smirked.

“Shut up. Do you not see how pregnant I am?” She gestured to her belly. “God everything hurts. Why don’t they tell you that? Everyone goes on about labor, but no one talks about how much it sucks to walk around all day weighing as much as an orca.”

“I’m pretty sure people do actually talk about that.” He sighed, starting in on his food.

Angela eyed him shrewdly.

“I heard you made a pretty amazing arrest today, I mean obviously not as amazing as my catching the 6th street killer, but still. You should be happy.” She frowned at him.

Tim just shrugged.

“And I heard there’s about to be an opening for Sergeant, you’ve got a really good shot at getting that.” Her tone was both insufferably encouraging and confused.

“Maybe. It’s not a sure thing yet.”

“Still. It’s good news. So why are you being such a downer?”

“I’m not a downer. I’m just being… cautious.” He groaned out the last word.

Angela snorted and nearly choked on her taco.

“Bullshit.” She said, after several sips of water. “This is about Lucy, isn’t it.”

Tim just looked away. There was no point lying. Seeing Lucy leaving, knowing it was his fault, knowing how much he’s hurt her, it had torn away every piece of happiness she’d helped him find in the 13 months they’d ridden together.

“Tim, it wasn’t your fault.”

He looked back at her, then immediately looked away again, seeing how earnest her expression was. “It was.”

“She went through hell. This job, it put her in hell. First Caleb,” Tim flinched away from the name, away from the memories of what he’d done to Lucy. “Then the Mallory case. And no matter what you might think, neither of those things were your fault.”

“Even if I believed that, that isn’t why she left.” He sighed.

“What do mean?”

“I…” He wasn’t sure he should be telling her this, but he knew there was also no way Angela would let the matter rest now. Her eyes had already seemed to double in size from interest.

“That last night, at Nolan’s party, we were talking, out the back. She told me she loved me.” Angela looked like she was about to interrupt him, probably to say ‘I told you so’, so Tim hurried on. “Then I kissed her. I shouldn’t have, I was her T.O. It’s beyond inappropriate. And I realised that, so I told her it couldn’t happen.”

“And that’s why she left?” Angela’s voice was dripping with incredulity.

“I kissed her, then rejected her. She was crying.” He felt a stab of pain at the memory of tears filling her dark eyes, then flooding down her cheeks.

“Jesus! How full of yourself are you?” She snorted. “You think being rejected by Tim Bradford is enough to make someone quit their job and leave town? You think Lucy Chen would leave everything she worked for just because she couldn’t have you?”

“That’s not-“ He tried to defend himself, to think of some way to explain. “You weren’t there.”

“Well then why don’t you tell me every detail?” She suggested with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“Point is,” Angela said, whopping corn chips in her mouth, “Lucy would never have left because a relationship didn’t work out. And it’s a little insulting that you would think otherwise.”

“Well I know she wouldn’t leave because of anything that happened on the job.” He argued back, while starting to feel the validity of Angela’s point.

“Tim, what she went through-“ Angela started.

“What she went through made her want to be a better cop. It made her work harder. She struggled with everything that happened, but it also made her more determined.” He spoke the words with utter confidence, and perhaps a little too much pride.

“Aww,” Angela fawned, “You love her.”

“Lopez.” Tim warned.

“Alright,” She sighed, “Then why’d Lucy leave?”

Tim was, for a moment, very tempted to say 'you're the detective, you figure it out', but then the question sank in, and he was left speechless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice how neither Emmett or Rachel exist here... Wonder why...


End file.
